FRANCE IN TURMOIL

The French national team are in turmoil, having sent Nicolas Anelka home for a bust-up with team coach Raymond Domenech.

Since then, the French fitness coach has quit and the players have refused to train. There’s never a dull moment in the French camp and Patrice Evra has stated that there is a traitor in Les Bleus suggesting that they had played a part in Anelka being sent home.

This comes after virtually all the French press condemned the team for its inability to do well in the tournament. The isssues go way back, before even the Henri hand ball which knocked Ireland unfairly out of the World Cup.
“The problem of France is not Anelka, but the traitor among us,”

Patrice Evra said, said at a press conference. “We must eliminate the traitor from the group, because he wants to hurt the team”.

He also added, “There is no little mouse in the locker room, this comes from someone who is on the team and wants to hurt the team. We are not going to lie, the reporter from L’Equipe did not make this up.”

EUROPE STRUGGLE

Europe’s elite teams could all be on their way back from the World Cup in South Africa next week. With teams like Italy, France, England and Spain failing to making a big impact this week then a lose or draw for the teams could well see them coming home.

This will be biggest shock to ever grace a World Cup tournament. We will see next week the outcome. The minnow teams at the World Cup have looked impressive so far and this proves that there will be no team in a walkover at the World Cup.

HOLLAND LOOKING GOOD

Holland eased past Denmark with ease today in a 2-0 with win against the Vikings, an own and a Dirk Kuyt tap rounded off the victory and sent the Dutch on their way in this Group E encounter at Soccer City. The Danes matched their European counterparts, keeping them out for most of the first half.

But it was early in the second half when Simon Poulsen ironic clearance hit the back of Daniel Agger only fot the ball to go into his own net. Holland were starting to control the game with an impressive second half performance from the Netherlands earned Bert van Marwijk’s side a 2-0 win and send them top of the group.

LOL ROB GREEN

OK, maybe this isn’t fair, maybe it isn’t right – but one thing for sure – it’s funny. When you are feeling miserable then a little bit of humour at somebody else’s expense is always a good idea – especially when that is the person who brought all the misery on. So, here we go – the best Robert Green jokes we could find for you… hope you can laugh between the tears by now!

1. Why is Robert Green like ITV HD? They both switch off at the crucial moment.
2. At least that’s one British spillage the Americans won’t be moaning about…
3. Steven Gerrard said: “The whole team is behind Rob Green.” With hindsight, that’s a good place to stand.
4. Robert Green’s bringing out his own South African trumpet. It’s known as a boo-boozela
5. What’s the difference between Robert Green and Justin Bieber? Robert Green knows how to drop his balls.
6. What does Robert Green do after winning the World Cup? Drops his controller.
7. Kermit was right: It’s not easy being Green.
8. I’m Robert Green and cleaning Windows is my next idea…
9. Rob Green has injured himself. Apparently, he put his head in his hands and immediately kneed himself in the face.
10. Yesterday at London Zoo one of the staff let a a Central American monkey slip out of his grasp. So Robert Green’s not the only English keeper to drop a Howler.
11. The England lads had a get-together after the game and bought Robert Green a drink to commiserate. He spilled it.
12. My computer’s got the Robert Green virus. It can’t save anything.
13. Just bought a Robert Green condom. Extra slippery and you’re guaranteed not to catch anything.
14. What’s the difference between a botanist with the flu and the England goalkeeper? One has Green fingers and can catch a cold…
15. Before he got into football, Robert Green was a bus driver. But he got fired because he couldn’t make any stops.
16. Robert Green – a joke even Americans can understand.

THAT GOAL – POOR ROBERT GREEN

It is early in the tournament so the complete f**k up by England’s Robert Green may well be forgiven and forgotten – if Fabio Capello gives him another chance that is and doesn’t put him straight on a plane tomorrow morning.

You may not need a crystal ball to imagine that Capello will give David James or Joe Hart a try out in the next England match. The look on his face was enough to leave burn marks on the TV. Aghast is hardly the word. He was like Marlon Barndo in Apocalypse Now – “The Horror, The Horror..”

This was a truly calamitous error from Green and it let the USA back into a game that had been, before that point, pretty much a walk in the park. A simply speculative shot from Dempsey, a give it a go and never mind shot really should have been dealt with ease if not aplomb.

However the keeper had a real oops butterfingers! moment and let the ball slip from his clutches and roll over in to the goal. As if in slow motion. Were we watching Sunday League football? No, goalkeeping there is usually of much higher quality.

The England squad had next to no time to get over from the blow of conceding this shameful goal as the half-time whistle was blown shortly after.

It has to be said in the goalkeeper’s defence that he went some way to making up for the screw up in the first half when he produced a near perfect save to deny Dempsey (wax figures of whom are available at our online shop), Green pushed the ball wide of goal.

Second chances, anyone?